I love John Prine. Ok, this is a bit too “down by the campfire” for my musical taste but it’s simple lyrics say what Dubya should hear. I should throw Sam Stone in there too because you just know that, when the troops eventually come home, their needs are going to be completely ignored - as usual. I’m not an American. I’m Irish. I, like most other kids, grew up thinking that America was some kind of utopia, where everyone wins, everyone is honest and everyone gets the girl. Well, I don’t know about the latter but I have come to know America as something else entirely. One man is responsible for the rest of the world resenting America. I don’t hate America but I’m fucking disappointed in America. I’m sure that most Americans are now...
On one side, you have Alan Jackson coming up with songs for every tragedy and appearing more sad, serene and sincere than a boyband singing about some other guy’s unrequited love. On the other side, you have Steve Earle, writing quality songs and telling like it is. He doesn’t need to appear in profile, looking off into some doomed horizon, he just tells it like it is....
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. My opinion is that American foreign policy has long been insipid and murky. I have been accused of listening to “liberal lefties”. Well, I’ve never listened to that band but I do like a couple tracks on “Leftism” by Leftfield, if that’s any use. I don’t align myself to any particular political leaning but, since I abhor the neo conservatives like Bush, Thatcher, Wolfowitz etc, I suppose you could consider my politics to be more on the left side of the political fulcrum. It still amuses me that people still assume I was pro-Clinton, while they are accusing me of being a “lefty”. I was no fan of Clinton but at least he could speak. I may also have a link to Michael Moore’s site on mine but I...
I was going to do a post about how badly the “war on terror” has gone wrong - not that it was ever right - but I’ll hold off for now because me ol buddy, Bock The Robber has posted an excellent piece. Best thing to do is link to it.
Hearts & Minds
The war in Iraq is the crime of the century but Dubya and his buddies haven’t even been ordered to explain themselves. They hung Saddam and, let’s face it, where would he have been without the help and financial support of the American government. Dubya is trying to buy time at the moment, in the midst of tremendous political pressure from within and without his own party. It’s time to impeach him and make him answer for his crimes. The same goes for his entire cabinet, Donald Rumsfeld and the insipid...
Wayne Laperre, for those of you who don’t know, is the political mouthpiece of the NRA. In his speech below he talks about how he wants conservatism to win. If you don’t want to watch Wayne LaPerre - the idiot’s - speech below, here’s a little synopsis:
He starts his speech by stating how proud he is that there are so many college students in the room. Now, that is a dodgy thing for an NRA spokesman to say, given what keeps happening in schools and colleges all over America because of the availability of guns. The sad truth is that it will happen again but Wayne - the idiot - is glad that they’ve made it this far. Are you already beginning to see how big a fucking idiot this guy is? The other reason for welcoming the younger generation, of course, is because...
Ok, Wayne LaPerre - the idiot - is just going to have to wait a little longer before I steer the Kipper in his direction because it looks like Bertie has retained his job.
What the fuck is wrong with the Irish people? You have been robbed, swindled and pillaged - and that’s just by me. The government have done all that in addition to lying to you and making a potential terrorist target out of Shannon Airport and YOU ARE VOTING THE FUCKERS BACK IN!!!
For fuck’s sake! I’m not saying that having Enda - confused - Kenny was any alternative but could we not have worked to hang the dail? A hung dail would have forced an agreement between all parties and they would have spent their time proving who would do a better job. This would have given the Irish people ample time to...
Ok, since I started researching this whole gun-control and second amendment stuff, I’ve really kind of gone off on one. I have other things to talk about but I’m holding tough at the mo because the more I look into this debacle, the more disbelieving I become.
“Guns don’t kill people; people kill people.” I had forgotten about that little nugget until Seymour reminded me of it.
This is the mantra uttered by gun advocates and idiots - should I have even made a distinction between the two? In fact, you could take it one step further and say, “Guns don’t kill people; bullets kill people” Or you could really go off on one and say, “It’s not my fault that he wasn’t wearing kevlar.”
If you hear anybody uttering the above...
I don’t mean to rattle on about the NRA til I’m blue in the face - sorry about the punnage there - but it seems to me that their basic premise is flawed. I mean, the NRA are fucking nuts. They are so way off the point they don’t even seem to know what they’re talking about anymore. The second amendment states that a well-armed militia is necessary for the protection of the state. Now the dictionary defines the “militia” thus: “A citizen army; a military organization formed by local citizens to serve in emergencies. If this is the case, why can’t they be trained to use firearms but only in case of emergency. How about you lock away all the weapons until such time as they are needed?
“Why Cap’n, that’s just…...
“A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”
Bock The Robber already wrote about the second amendment and I wasn’t going to add anything until Seymour came back and reminded me that I kind of have to. The fact that I haven’t had a go at American foreign and domestic policy for a while in no way diminishes my hatred of either. Seymour advised me that the Democrats have said that, to use the Virginia shootings as a platform to promote stricter gun control, would be in bad taste. Well that is just fucking stupid. Why didn’t they come out and lambaste that old fucking twat Charton Heston for holding NRA rallies near to the sites of many of these atrocities....
I don't know if we should develop nuclear power plants here or not. I think there are valid reasons why we should, and I think there are equally valid reasons why we shouldn't. I don't know. I think we need a debate on it, for certain, but right now, I just don't know, and why would I when even the committed guys are beginning to have doubts? We all admired James Lovelock, the founder of Gaia theory, but even he thinks now that we've fucked the Earth up so much we have no choice but to go nuclear, even if we don't like it. He thinks we've left it too late to do anything else. Unlike him, I don't have a deep knowledge of the subject, and so I still don't know for sure.But I'll tell you who does know, in case you needed a bit of certainty in a hurry. Bertie Ahern knows, that's who. This is...
I see our government has decided to go to the country.Great. Time to start torturing those political reptiles that call to your door once every four years. After all, even if you didn't disagree with their policies, it's very hard to like a heavily-sweating man in a bad suit with a gigantic belly and highly-suspect hair.I hate these people, but I don't - obviously - expect you to be so vehement. Obviously. Did I mention that I hate these fuckers? Yes. However, you don't need to be anywhere near as vehement. Just ask them a few questions when they come to your door, and while I think of it, may I just enter a small caveat? Thanks.Caveat: This is a completely non-party site. This site hates all political parties equally, naturally, because they are all equally power-grabbing...
Further from my post about prisons in Ireland I came across a couple of interesting while putting myself through the rigours of my very demanding Friday liquid diet.
Now you know how aghast I’ve been at the rising property prices in this country but - though I wasn’t surprised - it nevertheless disgusted me to have it confirmed that the easiest way to get a house is to become a scumbag. Residents of Limerick’s most expensive hotel are asked if they would prefer a house or a flat. They needn’t worry about making any immediate contribution to society because our benevolent government will pay for the house. Don’t worry about those pesky bills, the government will sort that out for you. Don’t worry about being put back into a dangerous neighbourhood;...
See?And they laughed at me for being such a big fan of Stargate! Ha! I bet they're sniggering on the other side of their faces now that scientists have discovered an earth-like planet only 50 million light-years away, orbiting the Sol-like star, Mu Arae.See?Ha!I suspect this discovery is more significant than the scientists realise. I suspect, in fact, that they have discovered the home-world of our esteemed and beloved Prime Citizen, Bertie Ahern.Why do I think this? Well, it seems to be our nearest Earth-like neighbour, it's gravity is such that its inhabitants are likely to be short, thick-boned and squat. Furthermore, to judge by what our Prime Citizen said yesterday, he can't possibly be from this planet, but must come from a parallel reality just slightly skaw-ways of our...
I recently installed an LCD TV in the Thirsty Kipper. I thought it would be a good way to while away the time when things were quiet. I gotta tell ya, it’s fantastic. I love it but there’s a problem. I’ve gotten so into what it can do, I’ve started watching shite movies in order to hear the glorious surround sound and sample the visuals that I’ve always thought of as dross. For instance, I recently watched a movie called xXx merely for its aesthetic value. As a movie, it is the worst kind of shite. This is the stuff that Hollywood spits out when it wants to fucking annoy everyone. There is no plot, the performances of all involved - including Samuel L - are abject fucking rubbish and it makes me sick to think that there are people out there who actually...
I was listening to an item on the news about a new report from the Comptroller and Auditor General. This report is about hospital consultants, or more particularly about whether we're getting value for money from them. A very topical matter indeed in this country.I googled it and and found the report, entitled Medical Consultants Contract.Here's an extract:General FindingThe failure to evolve and implement a model that integrates responsibility for resources, activities and outcomes was a factor that contributed to the failure to activate the key terms of the 1997 contract in regard to monitoring commitments and clinical audit. Overall, any new contractual arrangements need to specify the administrative and governance changes that are required to achieve effective implementation and...
I met a friend of mine recently who was just back from New York. He gave up piracy for life as a carpenter and hasn’t looked back. Me, I think he misses the joys of the open sea, serving under a drunken Captain and the general merriment attached to us sea-faring miscreants. We had a good chat about the old days and he reminded me of something that we witnessed long ago on the streets of Limerick.
T’was a time when one could smoke in bars whilst listening to live music performed by excellent local musicians. Westlife had been spawned by Satan but hadn’t been unleashed to empty aural shite into our reluctant ears. T’was a time before scumbags but silencers on their stanleys and you could get pissed, grab a greasy take-away and get a cab home for under forty quid.
Me...
Election time is here again. That wonderful time, when politicians tell you that they’re going to be giving you more money and everything is going to be rosy in the emerald garden. We will be paying less tax, pensioners will be getting €300 per week and they will be giving free penis enlargements to anyone who has suffered the side effects of steroids. Frankly, it makes you wonder why they didn’t do all these great things during their term in office. The stuttering buffoon, known to many as Colin the performing monkey but more commonly as Bertie Ahern is talking up all the great things that Fianna Fail have done for us. I’ll sum it up for you in two single syllable words for you, Bertie - FUCK ALL.
This government has had more money to waste than anyone else and they...
This is for those of you who believe in secret intelligence within the Whitehouse…
Nah, nothing there....
This is the second in a series of posts aided by You Tube. This one is an eye opener. I’ll be doing a few more of these before getting back to ranting like the mad pirate I am.
And here’s a clever one:
And finally;...
It’s been an embarrassing week to be Irish. Our inept judicial system showed its pathetic face again. The idiot that is Justice Paul Carney handed a three year suspended sentence to Adam Keane for rape, citing that he was under the influence of drugs and alcohol and was not in full control of his faculties. Adam managed to quietly enter his victim’s bedroom without waking her. I don’t know about you but, when I lose even partial control of my faculties due to drink alone, I wake up the whole neighbourhood. The victim walked into court, received a nonsense non-sentence and got the shared the train home with his victim.
I’m sorry but, if you are found guilty of rape, should not the full weight of the law come down upon you? I would like to see the term...
If I see one more fucking debate on global warming, I’m gonna throw out the fucking rattle. Here’s the point; if governments are being encouraged to stop shitting chemicals into the atmosphere, is that going to harm the planet? There is this train of thought that Mother Nature is doing more damage to the planet than anything else. Now, whilst I doubt that this is entirely true, I’m not a scientist and so I won’t go down the road of doing a couple of hours research in order to contradict someone who has gone through years of college. The point opposition scientists are trying to make is that the damage done to the planet by emissions is miniscule. Well it’s still fucking doing damage isn’t it? I mean, why do these fuckers need to speak up at all? Why...
The Premiership’s top four will set a ceiling of £100,000 a week for their top players’ wages meaning the likes of Frank Lampard, John Terry and Cristiano Ronaldo will be disappointed in their contract negotiations. (The Observer)
Disappointed? For those of you who do not watch soccer, that’s £100,000 per week. Disappointed. Hmmm. In an era where the majority of the population of the world live in abject poverty, they are dis-a-fucking-pointed. This is just one example of the fucking disgusting abuse of wealth that we in the “civilised” world have come to expect from those who entertain us. David Beckham will only wear a pair of trainers once and then throw them away. That must be the worst case of athlete’s foot in the history of the fucking...
Yes, it’s true; this is my 100th rant on this site. Since last July I have been waxing lyrical on all manner of shite and now I find myself at this worrying milestone. There have been many highlights in my life this year outside of my duties on the Thirsty Kipper but the highlight of my ranting is the disposal of one Mr. Richard Shepherd and his writing web-shite. Due to the dedication of Debs and Rochelle and a few others we have now ensured that his website - worldsgreatestnovel.com - is now a dumping site for every fucking reprobate on the net with a link to dump. I recently posted as “Mematey” in his forum and he didn’t even ban me. Was it good enough for him to simply neglect the site? No. There are still twenty-one authors, whose work is still associated...
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I received an email about an ad called, “A World Without America” on u-tube and I was about to write about it but I found that someone else has. This is a well written piece from an excellent blog and anything I could write would be repitition and plagiarism. click here for the post by The Quiet......
What about all this talk of the stock market? There's no escaping it, is there?Turn on your radio, and there will be somebody explaining that the trend in share values is downwards. There's a surge in the Japanese Yen. Interest rates are going up. America is heading for a recession.Listen to the way they talk about it. You'd swear they were meteorologists studying the weather. You'd suppose they might be cosmologists gaping at the nameless abyss of the galaxies. You'd imagine they were discussing some immutable natural force, bound by the laws of physics and chemistry, united by the eternal subtle and beautiful language of mathematics. That's what you'd imagine, isn't it, if you listened to these economists. The natural order. The power of the Universe. Truth.But it's not. It...
I see a report in today's papers about National Toll Roads looking for a tax break.Who they? demand the other culchies and boggers like myself.Oh, well, they're a sort of offshoot of Cement Roadstone Holdings. They own a bridge in west Dublin that crosses the River Liffey at a particularly steep gorge. Would you like to hear the story of the great big bridge and the tiny little mouse? OK then. Settle in and pull up those cosy covers while I tell you the story.You see, what happened was this. Once upon a time, the government built a road going from one side of the great big city to the other. They pulled and they dragged. Then they dragged and they pulled. They huffed and they puffed and then they banged and they walloped. After years and years they were nearly finished.My what a...
I see that Bertie is still adamant we won't ever use nuclear power. Ever.That's because Bertie is a nuclear scientist and he knows all the ins and outs of nuclear power. The same as he used his deep knowledge of computer security to call us all Luddites when we questioned the e-voting machines. Bertie went to the London School of Economics, as he reminded us on his CV, and he's also an accountant, as he reminds us every chance he gets. Or was it ? - wait a minute, I remember now. Bertie once went to the LSE but it was to collect a secondhand bike from his mate, and he's actually a book-keeper who once worked for the Mercy nuns at the Mater but never as an actual accountant anywhere, ever. At all. Ever. Because he's not qualified to be an accountant and it would be illegal to...
I don't know.I have no idea what it means to be Irish. In spite of the fact that - as far as I'm aware- my people have lived here forever, I feel very reluctant to call myself Irish, because I don't know what the term Irish means. I feel even more uncomfortable when I hear this new expression: the New Irish. Hold on a fucking minute. New Irish? What exactly does that mean? Is that one of those condescending new terms we have to swallow or else be killed by the PC people? Apparently so.Let me be blunt about this. I really couldn't give a flying fuck about the colour of your skin, or where you came from, or what religion you have. Really - I couldn't care less. You're welcome in my country. But if you came from some other country, I hope you have the same tolerant view about...
This baffles me. When exactly did somebody disconnect consequences from actions? When did it become possible to do whatever you want, no matter how bad or how stupid? When did it become impossible to totally screw up because no matter how much of a shit you make of things, some government agency will step in and make it all right for you? Or, to put it more plainly, when did our community start to fall apart?I always admired the generosity we showed towards people in trouble. I thought it was right to look after the weak and the vulnerable amongst us and I still think so, but I didn't think the obligation extended to looking after the strong and aggressive as well. This is the hard bit I don't understand: if a person does not subscribe to the basic values of our society, is that person...
I was chatting to a friend yesterday, as one does, and he mentioned that somebody was dead. I knew he was wrong, but even though I was the one correcting him, I could hear my late mother's voice: "Who did you send to kill him?"My mother, and many others of her generation, had a lively and ready store of all-purpose phrases. Who did you send to kill him? "If you die with that face, nobody will wash you". Or, if you wanted to try something a bit risky: "Sure, won't we be dead and rotten long enough?" My favourite as a child was "You should be shot with shit, so you'd be dead and dirty".When some ill-considered demand for money would come home from school, perhaps for a new book or a costume in the school play, my mother used to say "It's soft the wool grows on them". I still don't...